One Foot In Front Of The Other

I am married to a longtime runner, and every time he talks about the satisfaction of pushing through pain and mental obstacles to reach the "runner's high," I look at him like he has grown a third arm.

I have done many, many things that initially frightened or intimidated me, but running always struck me as the I Cannot Do. It's not just that it's hard. Lifting weights is hard, but I do that. Bike intervals are hard, but I do those, too. Ignoring a table full of hot dogs and hamburgers while eating a clean salad is excruciating. But I did that on Saturday.

Even when I was a kid, I wasn't very good at the simple act of running. In my junior high P.E. class, I was generally one of the slowest people on the track. More than anything else we did - archery, softball, tennis - running was the thing that seemed to set the strong and athletic apart from the ... not. Let's face it, you don't see many chubby runners.

A very fit friend who helped me overhaul my diet and workout routine is convinced that I have what it takes to run regularly, and she encouraged me to try a couch-to-5K over several weeks. She knows that, for me, this is as much about overcoming a mental obstacle as melting fat. I mean, I could do Zumba for cardio. A big part of my weight loss project has been getting past the phrase "I can't."

So I downloaded Week One of this podcast, laced up my shoes and went to work. The 30-minute drill for Week One, bookended by a five minute warmup and cool down, was to run for one minute, walk briskly for 90 seconds, and repeat. I'd like to say that I surprised myself with my stamina and speed, but it pretty much sucked. I didn't quit, but halfway into the podcast, when host Robert Ullray told me it was time to start running again, I spent the next 60 seconds repeating the F-bomb. When I got home, sweaty and angry about how fat and slow I felt, my husband high-fived me. I went to the shower muttering something like "Fuck running," and my son asked me why I looked so mad. I mean, it's not I like was totally out of shape; I'd already been doing a solid cardio routine for months. Yet, the podcast kicked my ass.

When I did it a second time, it still sucked — but a tiny bit less. I did it again today, and while I wasn't stoked, I didn't feel like I was going to die, either. The last interval was a bit much, but I just kept going. No one was going to be captivated by my speed or gazelle-like grace, but holy shit, I was running.

I've got a long, long way to go in my fitness journey, but for now, consistently putting one foot in front of the other feels like a victory lap.